Women’s connections, banana jousting, learning to read, missing cello, friends

Today I bundled the twins into the Madsen and took off to a park where I met up with a woman who’s considering getting a cargo bike for herself and her kids. We talked about pros and cons, about music (her son is interested in cello lessons) about pregnancy and its impacts on one’s body. One thing I enjoy about being a woman is the way in which women are able to connect on a personal level having never met one another before. In my experience, it is easiest to do that with another woman, and sometimes possible to do with a man. The men I know, however, talk about how hard it is to engage in personal conversation with other men, who are socialized away from that sort of interaction. Parenthood helps. Ted, and various of my male friends, have described softer interactions with other people when they’re out with a baby or child. There are more smiles, more conversation, more openness.

After we got back I fed the twins a quick lunch, as we were running a bit behind on our lunch/nap/picking Hazel up daily schedule. As part of their lunch I gave them each a banana. They devised a game wherein they each held a long piece of banana in their mouths and then jousted with them, giggling madly through the fruit. I laughed and laughed, and I also taped the moment, glad to have it to show them, both now and later. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Twins are magic. I am so lucky.

When Hazel and I got home from school, she read a bunch of little books to me, with her sight words colored in to show which they are. She loves to do that, loves to show me what she’s learned. She was very sad to hear that she’s going to be off school for two weeks. I had to placate her with reminders of our upcoming trip to visit my parents, and that we’ll be able to spend time together, go the pool, etc., during the time we’re here. Hazel wants to spend all of her time with Ted and me, and she also wants to spend all of her time with her friends at school. She has a plethora of good options, but of course experiences these multiple desires as conflicts. Issues of time, relationships, and time management begin young! She’s always sad when she hears about something I did with the twins in the morning, because, “I didn’t get to go! That’s not fair!”

Nonetheless, I can’t wait to show her the banana jousting video tomorrow. I think she will love it.

Today was one of those days during which teaching made me miss my cello, and miss practicing my own repertoire on the cello, desperately. I don’t have any child care tomorrow, but am making a plan to practice when Ted gets home. I have so much work to do, and I want to get to it! Hazel’s not the only one with competing desires for how to spend time.

I am in more frequent communication with my friend R who’s in prison these days. He’s accomplishing a remarkable change of outlook, and we are getting to know each other again through conversations over the phone and in letters. I am grateful for that friendship, and for so many others.


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