Parenting realizations

I’m feeling blah today. No need to go into the details, but suffice it to say that neither the twins nor I enjoy a lot of getting them in and out of the car for multiple trips in one day. Things will be, in some ways, easier when they can get themselves in and out.

Today’s realizations include that Ted and I clamp down partly because we both fear conflict. Part of us feels that if we just make the kids do what we want there won’t be conflict, and then we won’t have to worry about getting what we want. So the morning went better, because I was quite conscious of that pattern and did a good job of mediating it both internally and with the kids.

Also, there are parts of taking care of kids which are just plain no fun, especially on inadequate sleep. It occurred to me this morning that I could look at those aspects as just part of the job, like the tedious aspects of any job, and then try to focus my attention on the rest, especially when feeling tired and worn out.

I suspect that parental time-outs are going to become a fixture in this household, as I remove myself from the situation when I get overwhelmed and unable to process well.

I also realized today that we’ve been treating the twins like babies still, in some ways. It is perfectly reasonable to ask Joanna to use a regular voice. Because they don’t talk much it’s easy to forget that we can still set boundaries and communicate with them. So I started to do that this morning, and it was effective.

Tonight Ted lowered the seat on the used/new balance bike I got for Emily, thinking she’d be all over it. Nope. She wants to “ride” (be steered around on) Hazel’s. Hazel wanted to ride hers. I got a few cute pictures. It occurred to me that Hazel was quite a bit older when we got her the balance bike. We won’t push it with Emily but just offer periodically, and at some point I am sure she’ll become interested.

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