This morning, Pepper bit my feet (again), and I started to cry. It was one of those last-straw things, the thing that pushed me over the edge after endless-feeling nights of difficult and inadequate sleep, the pressures of Mommy-focused twins (all three kids go in and out of being focused on me or Ted), and all the various things I have been trying to get done. Pepper has been getting increasingly aggressive with me in the last couple of weeks, biting (not hard) or swatting at my feet many times a day. He was so sweet and gentle when we first got him, but he’s gotten a lot bigger and has been challenging Jasmine for dominance, and they’ve been hissing and growling at each other.
So, I’m going to take him to the vet next week just to make sure there’s not something out of balance (like thyroid). And I think that the cats are going to become indoor/outdoor cats. They both want out, Jasmine particularly. And I think that Pepper needs more activity than he can get inside, to blow off steam, to explore. I really, really hope we can work this out. I love both the kitties and want them to be happy. But I can’t have a cat biting me, or the kids. It’s not a hard bite, but it needs not to happen at all. The twins are only two years old. I don’t want them to be scared of the cats. I don’t want to be backing away when I see him walking toward me, which I find myself doing. That’s just not right.
Ted saw that I was at the end of my rope, and stuck around for a while so I could shower and eat, and so he could help me get the twins ready to get out of the house. Thanks to Ted! Then I went walking with the twins, down to pick up a few things at the pharmacy and around the neighborhood, until I found I was close enough to Hazel’s preschool to go meet her at the end of her class session. We walked back home via a Mexican place to get tacos and quesadillas, and then via the park to eat our lunch. I spent over two and a half hours out walking and pushing the stroller, and the exercise was good for me.
This afternoon we had a very productive joint therapy session (which we’d forgotten about, and for which we got very last-minute childcare, courtesy of our wonderful nanny L). Parenting has brought up numbers of issues with which it’s been very useful to have support and help in sorting out, and I’m so glad we have that resource.
After that Hazel had her last pre-recital lesson, and it went very well. She’s still got a couple of rhythm mistakes to fix in the “Petite Minuet”, but I think she’s in good shape for Saturday. I’m glad we got the keyboard. It’s not a wonderful instrument, obviously, but its presence enabled her to practice this afternoon when I couldn’t take her down to the studio because I also had to watch the twins.
Tonight I went to the coffee shop to write, and made some more progress in terms of the questions I’m asking myself, some of the answers I’ve found, and homework I’ve given myself, to write one scene in particular in several different ways, to explore a variety of possibilities. I am more relaxed nowadays about not “getting it right” when I write, about the existence of big contradictions, holes, and other things that I can fix later. And that changed attitude makes it more fun to write.
And in a minute Ted and I are going to go watch another bit of a movie, and then go to bed. Today certainly had its challenges, but I’m glad to be ending on a nicer note.