piano practice, tension, cultural realities, rehearsal, hair cut

This afternoon after Hazel played the piece she’s working on this week, she decided to play another piece. Five times. Of her own accord. She did it, too. I was suitably impressed.

This evening we had a long rehearsal, by the end of which I was starving and tired. In the middle, the conductor had to dismiss someone. He didn’t take it well, and the situation became tense. On my way home I thought about how our cultural context is such that when people get mad, you can’t be sure they’re not going to go for a gun-assisted reprisal. I know, that’s overly simplistic and an overly dramatic reaction to the evening’s discomfort, but there is this thread of uncertainty when you see irrational anger expressed, seemingly out of proportion to the situation. The presence of this thread in our cultural experience does not seem appropriate to a civil society based on laws and justice. We should not have to ask, “Does he have a gun and will he shoot me?” when someone gets upset.

There are other questions, of course, that I think we shouldn’t have to ask in a civil society, in a democracy. Those include, “Will paying my medical bills cause me to go into bankruptcy and/or cause me to lose my house?”, and, “If I walk in my neighborhood at night, will someone assault me because I’m female?”


Tomorrow we’re going to bring a pair of sound-muffling headphones for Hazel, so that if the music gets too loud for her she can protect her ears. I got the idea at the last rock orchestra gig I did; one of the singers had noise-cancelling headphones on her baby, who was very happy to be at rehearsals. Hazel has been to one concert, thus far, which was our small ensemble performance. She hasn’t yet encountered the volume level made possibly by a vigorous brass section. I want her to have an option in case it’s a bit too much.

This will be another experience she’ll be able to tell the twins about, and induct them into once they’re old enough. I look forward to the day when I look out into the audience and see my three girls looking back at me.


I got my hair cut today, for the first time in five months. It’s amazing what a difference it can make to my basic sense of well-being. When I have short hair I feel a much stronger desire to get it cut regularly than when it’s chin-length or more. When it gets too bushy it bothers me in the way that turtleneck shirts, too-long sleeves, a bra that doesn’t fit, or nails on a chalkboard do. It’s nice to be rid of the irritation factor, and also nice to have a cut I like in terms of how it suits my face.

Ted extremely generously came home early so I could go do that. It was great to have the time off, to have someone else wash my hair & cut it, and to have a couple of hours away from work and parenting.

I am looking forward to tomorrow’s concert, and I am also looking forward to the gardening we have planned for the early evening. It’s been a full couple of weeks.


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