Saturday nights are Ted’s night off now, and so after I got the kids down to sleep I had some time to myself last night. I decided to watch a movie rather than play Scrabble and write a blog post and surf the web. I have been doing too much of the Scrabble and surfing combo lately.
It was great. One of the greatest benefits of movies is their ability to take you somewhere else for a while, to show you a vivid picture of another place. Books, of course, do that too. But with books I am much more likely to wind up staying up way too late to finish them. A movie ends after an hour and a half or two hours. It’s easier to have some measure of self-control.
So I sat in bed by myself, and watched, “The Holiday”, a flick I’d seen a bit of at the gym earlier in the day. It was not exactly high-brow, pretty predictable, and pretty fluffy, but it was fun. Ted got home when I was about 15 minutes from the end. We talked for a bit, he went to sleep, and I finished the movie.
Once Ted was back and could take over being the parent in charge in case of night-wakenings, I took some NyQuil (I was back to feeling pretty awful yesterday, and desperately needed a good night’s sleep). And then, at the end of the movie I lay down, felt sleepy, and went to sleep. What a gift. I need to learn how to retrain my body to do that without the NyQuil. I almost never feel sleepy, as I have a decades’ long resistance to it. And so I can be so tired I’m barely functional, but unable to feel sleepy and therefore have great difficulty in getting to sleep.
Last night I slept through the night, and the wonderful result of that is that yesterday feels like yesterday. I have some distance from it. It’s not just that I’ve been living today for an eternity. When I don’t sleep, or when I wake up multiple times during the night, I don’t get that separation, that border between yesterday and today. That means less time to process what happened each day, more stress, and less downtime.
So, I think I need to work on getting in touch with sleepiness at night, so that each new day can be a new adventure, rather than an endless coda to the day before.