Pre-travel stress, lovely baby

Today was a stressful day. Hazel had the first piece of her candy, and I was so wound up worrying about the behavior I feared would follow, that I got way overly sensitive to any hint of her not listening, etc. I had a half internal half external fit at the zoo. I think all of us are stressed over my imminent departure. I had worked through my angst to the extent that I had decided to go ahead and say yes to sitting in the little photo booth to do a picture, when Hazel reached forward and pressed the OK button before I’d actually selected the picture that had us all in it. Cue Mommy fit.

After lunch, Hazel whined about 98% of the time that she opened her mouth. So, in a bid for some better time together I asked her if she wanted to run my errands with me. She did. That went pretty well, despite a certain amount of whining and maternal hot-button poking (“Mama, can I just try a bit of this?” – pointing at a LIPSTICK TUBE!) But she was quite patient while I tried on sunglasses, and I bought her a couple balloons and a drawing book at the last place we went.

This evening I have been packing and stressing, feeling sad that I’ll miss the babies, feeling worry and sadness that they’ll miss me. I said a few of the things running around in my head out loud because I knew how silly they’d sound, and that Ted would laugh and lighten the mood. “They’ll forget me.” “When I come home they’ll be mad at me.” “They won’t want to nurse any more after a week away from me.” Etc. Ted laughed. I was grateful.

I’m taking a pump with me to HI so that I can hopefully keep my supply up while I’m gone. Because I’m also taking a couple Paleo standards (coconut aminos and olive oil) I decided to check a bag. I’ll have more luggage than I would have otherwise, but still far less than when traveling with kids, as I realized while I was removing diapers and wipes from my backpack.

Emily has been developing new skills left and right lately. Tonight she climbed up onto the high chair and then stood up on it. “Oh good,” I said, “Now she can reach the stove.” She also figured out she could climb up onto a box, holding onto the drawer handle next to it, and get taller. She did that over and over, running around the kitchen giggling madly and throwing her arms around all of us the rest of the time. I do not think it would be possible for her to be cuter and more wonderful than she is.

Best wishes for a wonderful weekend.

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