Today began with letting Chester go, and ended with three hours at a spa, soaking in warm pools and having a body scrub. In the middle I had a couple of appointments, including therapy and Pilates. A big mixture!
Our vet is so warm, wonderful, generous, connected and professional. I am deeply grateful that she will come to the house to put a cat to sleep. Chester stayed on the warm towel he’d been on for the past day or so. He was so tired, not engaging much at all, seemed ready to go. The vet thinks it was actually pancreatic cancer, because he declined so precipitously. We said goodbye, petted him and told Chester stories. We all cried, including our vet. Then Ted and I dug a hole in the yard, next to where Satchmo is buried, taking turns until it was deep enough. I brought Chester out and we laid him on the red cushion I use to put folders on while I’m taking notes during lessons. Putting kitties in the ground is the hardest part for me. We put fabric and flowers over him, and I grabbed sprigs from a couple of plants from our garden. That helps me to feel that what we’re doing is more natural. Then we covered him up, placed a stone on top of his grave, and came inside. Our dear friend A had taken the twins for a long walk, and he met us back at the house just as we had finished up in the garden.
A bit later when Hazel came home from school I asked her if she wanted to see the grave. She said yes, and we went out together to look at it. Back inside, I told her it had been peaceful. She cried again, and I did too as I held her. I am glad she can feel sadness and express it.
Then I had my two appointments. During the first one we did talk about next pet steps. The bottom line for me is that I need to have my house back and in reasonable order before I can really think about it. But we will explore possibilities. And when I’m back from my trip we’ll most likely work on getting our next pets. And Hazel will help choose them.
Tonight Ted had the babies and Hazel was next door. Instead of going off to write, I went up to the spa and gave myself water therapy. I stood under the fountain in the cold pool several times, feeling gratitude for my life and all the wonderful caring people I know. I am so happy that Ted and I were able to support each other through this, and that we are on the same page in terms of how we feel about our kitties and how to treat them. That is a boon.
I am also going to make a photo book with pictures of Satchmo and Chester. I asked Hazel if she’d like that, and she said yes. It will give us something to look through to remember, something with which to prompt stories and memories. It will be a celebration of two great cats who loved us and whom we loved.