Transitions are hard. Hazel’s been having a difficult time with the transition back to our home routine, especially at night. We had to walk her back to her room many times this evening, and she cried and screamed and stamped a lot. It’s tough on all of us. We gave her a lot of hugs and snuggle time, but for the entire duration of our trip we all went to bed together, and she doesn’t want to go back to going to sleep on her own. Also, our neighbor’s dog had to be put down a day or so after we left on our trip. We found that out literally as we were leaving for the airport. That, combined with the death of my friend’s dad make for some challenging topics on Hazel’s mind.
Today our nanny got out the face paints at Hazel’s request, and when I saw her after I got home from work, she had a rainbow kitty face on, complete with multi-colored nose and whiskers. She wants me to do more tomorrow.
Helping my student with some orchestra rep this evening was fun. My body remembers pieces even when my mind has forgotten them. I enjoy the experience of coming back to something I learned when I was at a different technical stage. There is the pull toward the old way, long since changed, and then the careful, deliberate process of re-learning the notes with the new way. It is quite satisfying to be able to do something better than I did it before.
Here’s some commentary I like on the recent Dove ad. I am tired of seeing thin white women as the only exemplars of beauty in the media. This commercial would have been more powerful if “I’m more beautiful than I thought,” didn’t directly translate to, “I’m Caucasian with blue eyes, and I’m thinner than I thought.” How about beauty having a broader definition? How about breaking the steel linkage we’ve created between fat and ugly? How about celebrating our bodies? I recently found my way to another site whose purpose is to cultivate and view positively the shape of a mother. I have been getting quite down on myself lately about the things that have happened to me physically as a result of my two pregnancies. I have that flap below the belly button, and my belly is rounder and larger than it used to be. I had even started to contemplate surgery to correct those issues. While I have no wish to judge anyone’s choices, mine included, I want to refocus on appreciating what my body has done, how it continues to let me interact with the world around me, and all the things about it I enjoy. I want to pass those positives on to my daughters, instead of the wish to cut bits of myself off so I can get a little bit closer to an acceptable form. This is an ongoing struggle for me and for so many other women.