This morning one of Hazel’s best friends came over for a few hours. They have a wonderful, sweet relationship. They start giggling with happiness on sight of each other. Today they had tons of fun. Hazel’s room now has the babies’ bed/crib, a perfect place to jump and fall. The two of them transported a significant percentage of Hazel’s toys upstairs to her room. They kept coming up and down the stairs carrying Legos, stuffed animals, and other miscellaneous items from the playroom. Every time her friend dropped something on the stairs, Hazel ran to pick it up. It is an enormous pleasure to see their friendship develop. And as they entertain each other, it is something we can give ourselves and Hazel during this time of intense baby care.
There was one glitch in the perfection of the morning. When the friend’s mom came to pick her up, we went upstairs to tell the girls it was lunchtime. The instant we opened the door it was clear from their expressions that mischief was afoot. And indeed, they’d taken the cough drops from my bedside table (which Hazel is not allowed to have without permission), and started eating them. I asked Hazel how many she’d had, and she didn’t answer. I prompted her, “Did you have five?” She held up four fingers. So, the consequence is that she’ll have to sit through the next four times Ted and I have treats, and not get any. However, it has also lit a fire under our butts. The behavior of one kid by herself is very different from that of two kids. I have not before understood how multiple kids can get into so much more trouble. Now I do. And it makes us think how it will be with the twins, who will always be together to egg each other on. And if they are half as creative as their parents and sister, we’re in trouble!! Tomorrow we’re going to start installing more kid-proofing devices in the house. This is a safe way for us to have learned the lesson (the dangerous things are up high, out of reach, but still!) so we’ll take it and thank the universe for the reminder.
And it’s another reminder, along with the convincingly detailed stories Hazel tells me (“I had a headache, so my teacher gave me children’s ibuprofen, because it’s safe for kids, and I felt much better”) about things that didn’t happen, that she is only almost-four. She’s not six or eight or ten. It’s important to remember that the line between fantasy and reality is blurry or nonexistent, and that she simply doesn’t have the impulse control of an older kid. It doesn’t matter how many times she says she understands. It is our responsibility to set her up for success in this arena, rather than leaving stuff around she wants and then punishing her for taking it.
The visit was wonderful, though, and we look forward to Hazel spending more time with her friend.
Tomorrow there will be fun of another kind. Our friend has given us the big wooden blocks and matchbox car tracks from his childhood, and he’s going to come over so we can play with them all together. I’m looking forward to building ramps, racing cars around the living room, and seeing the two of them share something that was special to him when he was a kid.
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Ted has been loading up my regular (big) laptop, as well as my small writing/traveling laptop for me today. We did a backup in August, so not all is lost. And tomorrow we’ll set up the back-up program. So, starting tomorrow I’ll be back to having a calendar, regular keyboard, and a place to edit and load photos. I am really looking forward to it.
CelloMama 