I am feeling drained. It was a long, intense day. In the late afternoon I went to the hospital to give hugs and support to my friends. Rush hour traffic being what it was, it took me a long time to get there, and his father died while I was en route. It’s probably good timing that I didn’t arrive earlier, actually, as they could be there while it was happening, and I could hug them and offer condolences as a break before they went back into his room later.
On the way I was stuck half in a cross walk while the line of cars in front of me didn’t move through two cycles of lights. A couple of guys thought it would be funny to offer social criticism by taking a running leap and sliding across my hood. Of course, they thought I was just being an obnoxious driver. They had no idea what was going on in my life. But it was a good object lesson for me in how important it is to attempt not to be too impatient with other people, as one never knows what life circumstances are currently creating challenges for them. I will admit that in that moment I wished I had Buffy-verse powers, and could have stranded them, appropriately scraped up, on top of a tall building for a while. They were so jerky about it.
Nursing the babies this evening helped me a ton. It feels so good to be able to provide such important sustenance and comfort in such a simple and direct way. When life seems overwhelming and full of grief, it is a balm to my wobbly heart.